I went into many of these with an open mind—the SpongeBob mainline film series with Sponge Out of Water, Sponge on the Run and all that, as well as the Netflix spinoff films. I knew they weren't going ...

I would be thrilled to report that I loved “Plankton: The Movie,” a “SpongeBob SquarePants” spinoff film. I'd love to say that it is the cinematic hit of the spring. Alas, I cannot.