In honor of his birthday—Van Dyke was born on December 13, 1925—here are 19 quotes from the perennially cheerful actor who's still singing and dancing far better than the rest of us ever could.

Since Osagyefo cannot division himself into twice, he has disappointed me to come and open this pipe. Now pipe open, water come, people drink, it can cook, it can wash, it can do nothing at all ...