"Elf" became a modern holiday classic almost instantly after it premiered in 2003. But almost 20 years later, it still baffles me how offensive it is to cognitively disabled adults. It stars Will ...

Christy Heins, of North Aurora, Illinois, shared her exit strategy for getting out of the Elf on the Shelf routine in a hilarious Facebook post on Dec. 3 Dave Quinn is a Senior Editor for PEOPLE.

but you are an elf. You cannot betray your own kind.” Crooky felt a terrible sadness. “But it is my only wish in life,” she said. There was a long silence. “Then you must become human ...